Christian is 11 Months Old!

Jason thinks Christian looks like me in this photo.

I can hardly believe that we will be celebrating Christian's 1st Birthday next month! I have to admit that I have been quite emotional lately. I have been thinking a lot about all the things we have experienced this past year. It has been the absolute, most terrifying and most joyous year of our lives. I constantly am amazed by our sweet boy. I know how blessed we are and it is so overwhelming. I can't help but fight back tears, even now, as I type this. Memories are replaying in my mind these days about the events and conversations that took place before Christian was born. Only this time, remembering the conversations with all the Doctors and nurses, hearing all the terrifying statistics, is really sinking in that they were actually talking about our baby. That really happened. At the time of course I was scared. I remember the doctor in Walla Walla telling us that we could have our baby and at any moment and that I needed to be life-flighted right away. I couldn't believe what was happening. I had felt great. Things were going so well.

I remember the doctors giving Jason and I a moment alone and as my loving husband held me I broke down in his arms. I did not think my heart could bear the news, it was breaking, and the hurt and fear was so unbearable that the only thing I could do was beg God to hear my prayer. And He did. Suddenly I had this amazing sense of peace in my heart. I was still scared but I had a new found strength that I had never known before. In the days that followed, I listened to what the Doctors were saying but in my heart I felt like they were not talking about OUR child. I knew that our baby was going to be fine and we would have him home and he would be healthy. Writing that now sounds very naive and somewhat pompous, but that is how I felt.

I thank God everyday for giving me that peace in my heart and the strength to make it through those months. It has been a long road to get to where we are now. We still have a bit of road left. Christian is such an inspiration. Such a miracle. How brave our little guy is and he doesn't even know it. Someday when he is older we will have a fabulous story to tell him about how he came into this world. How he beat the odds that were against him. How he brought joy to so many people. How he went through so much, too much, and still smiles constantly. How he gave his parents peace with his eyes that told us "I'm okay". Oh Christian, you are so loved.

We are so truly blessed. My tears are tears of joy. Thank you God.