The Great Pumpkins

Jason and I carved our pumpkins on Sunday morning. Jason drew the face on his in about 5 seconds and I couldn't help but laugh. It was so funny. He insisted that when he carved it he would clean it up and it would turn out just right. I seriously had my doubts but he was just so darn adorable that I bit my lip. He said he wanted it to look just like Christian with his two bottom teeth, one and half top teeth, and two dimples. I told him that he would need a mushroom nose like his daddy. He carved away and it turned out really great! I got the idea for my pumpkin face from a picture I had seen. Jason said his pumpkin looks like Christian and mine looks like me. :) We had a great time.

Who taught him this????????

This is for Grandpa Horn

Housecoat Morning

I MISS YOU GRANDPA HORN!

I LOVE YOU!!!

Brrrr....

This is what our mornings look like while our heater is not working.

Daddy will be home to fix it tomorrow. :)
Our heater has not been working since we returned from Portland. Luckily, Christian's room is always hot at nights because of his warm mist machine. During the day it is just right. I light a candle and get the humidifier going and we are just fine. The bad part is when we first wake up in the morning and IT IS COLD!! So we have been bundling up like a couple of Eskimos and doing some EXTRA snuggling. We make sure we have slippers or socks on at all times because we have laminate flooring. Good thing we are a hot blooded family! We do have a little space heater that I am able to bust out if it gets too unbearable. :)

Here are a few cute pics I snapped of Mr. Christian yesterday and today:

Oh FALL, How I love thee........

Christian, Cleo, and I made it back into town this afternoon around 4 p.m. It was right before a little rainstorm and the lighting was just how I like it. I love these Fall days when the colors are so vibrant. I pulled into my driveway and was very pleased to see all my Fall flowers in full bloom and my trees had changed colors. It was a very nice homecoming surprise! Fall is my absolute favorite time of the year. It is such a cozy season, don't you think?

Dear FALL,

Thank you for all that you do. You make me so happy by just being you. Your colors and crisp air, brighten my day. I look forward to you, what more can I say? You bring me pumpkins and witches and ghouls. You make the leaves look like bright, shiny jewels. When you arrive here life seems to be better. I break out my boots and throw on a sweater. I buy pumpkin spice lattes and pumpkin pie blizzards. We cook turkey and stuffing (but throw out the gizzards!)

I love you , dear Fall, for so many reasons. I think your the very BEST one of the seasons!

Yes, I wrote this cheesy poem with my own words....and do turkey's have gizzards?? I know chickens do. Hey I needed a word to rhyme with blizzards!

Results from Christian's Surgery

Today has been an exhausting day. We had to have Christian at OHSU at 6 a.m. His surgery was at 7:30. Christian tolerated the surgery just fine. It lasted about an hour and Dr. Milczuk came out to give us a report. He said that Christian still has the Subglottal Stenosis or narrowing of his upper airway. His airway has grown as Christian has grown, but the narrowing is still there. I asked Dr. Milczuk if he saw "improvement" in the airway. He told me that he could not say that it had improved. He did see that the area was "softened" where as before it was hardened. This, he says, is promising. The plan is to wait another 6 months and then schedule a clinic appointment for evaluation with Dr. Milczuk and have another surgery the day after. So that will be in April sometime. I asked Dr. Milczuk if Christian should go ahead with speech therapy and he thought that would be a good idea. Dr. Milczuk also said that Christian's airway did look better than he expected it would look. We take that as good news.

I was prepared for Dr. Milczuk to tell us that Christian was not ready to have his trach removed. I really did feel in my heart though that he would see definate improvement in our Litte Turkey's airway. It was difficult to hear him say that he did not. I remind myself that Christian is just 15 pounds, 25.5 inches long and still has quite a bit of growing to do. All the while a million thoughts race through my head. I feel selfish and guilty for wanting more for my precious baby who has already faced lions and overcome the multiple odds that have been stacked against him. We have been given so much and we are grateful.What a precious gift. And I can smile through it and know in my heart that he will get through this too. But I can not hide the pain I feel in my heart, the yearning to hear my son's cry, his voice, his precious full-belly laughs. I can not deny these feelings but I know that if I never hear his voice it will STILL BE ENOUGH just to have him, exactly the way he is. HE IS ENOUGH.

Of course I am not giving up on my hopes that Christian will one day be trach-free. I am just tired today and these emotions are raw. I am simply a mama wanting the best for her child.

Here is a pic of Christian as we arrived at OHSU this morning:

Here are some photos of the Turkey before surgery. He has a little hospital gown on.

He handled surgery like a pro and still felt fit to go flirt with all his Lady Nurses upstairs!

TODAY......

Today I am finishing up with my house cleaning, putting laundry away, and getting things organized and packed for our trip to Portland tomorrow. Christian will be getting his Synagis shot tomorrow morning sometime between 10 and noon. We will head out shortly after that.

Jason left Monday morning to start work on the Bonneville Dam. He will be living with Shela and Dave while he is on this job. For now, he is working 4-10's so he will be home Thursday nights after work. That will be great because we can still have our Friday morning coffee (which we both look forward to). It just does not feel right to not have him come through our front door a few minutes after 5 each night. I know Christian is missing his daddy and he will be so happy to see him tomorrow evening. We miss him. I know that he misses us too.

On top of missing Jason I am going through Monopoly and Battlestar Galactica withdrawls, or BSG as we like to call it. I know, I know. I NEVER thought I would ever be a fan of such a show as BSG but I am totally HOOKED! Also, I hated playing Monopoly growing up and it was all that my brothers ever wanted to play. For years Jason has asked me if I want to play Monopoly and I always said NO thanks. Then one day about 2 months ago he asked me again and I said yes, out of sympathy only. WELL......I really liked it! Suddenly, I am wanting to play Monopoly every day, sometimes 2-3 times a day. I found out I was really good at it too. Now Jason is the one who is starting to hate Monopoly. :) Sometimes I get his mom and dad to play me too. They have Oceanopoly which I really enjoyed. So, if you have never played Monopoly or you always thought you hated the game, I recommend giving it another shot.

Christian's surgery is Friday and I have mixed feelings. NO parent feels great about their child having surgery. I know that this surgery is a positive one. We have to get in there (his airway) and take a look at how things have developed. It is just nerve racking, you know? He is my baby. And although he has been in the Operating Room several times for different reasons, this time feels different. All the other times were when he (we) were living in the hospital, it was all he knew. Now we have had him home and all to ourselves and it is just going to be different watching them take him into surgery. I know he will be fine. He is so brave. It is just different this time.

His surgery is scheduled for 7:30 a.m. on Friday the 17th. We have to have him at OHSU by 6:00 a.m. for check in. They told me his surgery should take about an hour. They will monitor him for several hours after surgery to be sure he is stable and then we can take him home-probably around noon. I will post an update on Friday as well as send an update via email.

I want to say thank you to everyone for all of your love, support, and prayers. It really means so much to all of us.

Drunken Sailor

I think it is so funny when Christian drinks water from his sippy cup. He can be very dramatic. He will chew on the spout, bang it down on his chair, give me a funny look, quickly take another drink, pound the cup on the chair, give a funny look, smear the water with his fingers, eyes will get big and red, eyes start watering, take a big drink, bite spout, dramatically throw cup down, and then start all over again. I mean, man, this kid makes drinking water look like the best thing in the world. The image that always comes to mind as I watch him through this process is a drunken sailor. He acts like the water is intoxicating him. It is pretty darn cute. I am thankful that he likes to drink water. :)

Christian's 1st Haircut

Today I gave Christian his first haircut. Jason and I knew it was time but it was very hard to do. Last weekend the waitress said she "liked his little come-over". First thing that comes to mind is Donald Trump-not good. This morning he woke up with a huge knot of hair on the top of his head and getting it out meant broken, split ends. Today was the big day!

Before:

After:

Look at this dashing young fellow! What a little heart breaker.

Happy Birthday Matt

My baby brother, Matt, turned 19 on Sunday. I can not believe that he has grown up so quickly. I was in the 5th grade when he was born and I remember telling everyone in "show and tell" that I had a new baby brother. He was always my little sidekick. He called me "sissy" and followed me everywhere. I would always sing him to sleep and when my mom would try to sing him to sleep he would say "Mom, can you get sissy to sing?" We still laugh about that. Now Matt has grown into a tall, handsome young man. He has his own place and an adorable girlfriend. My name has transcended from "sissy" to "Sis".


My baby brother gives the BEST hugs. When I was rear-ended one night coming home from work, he came to my rescue and met me with a giant hug. When little Christian pulled his trach out, he came over right away, with arms outstretched. Man, did I need a hug too! He is the best.

I made him a homemade caramel cheesecake with a chocolate cookie crust. It turned out pretty good too. These candles were pretty cool. You can not tell in the picture but they are sparkler candles.

Happy Birthday Matt! Love Sis

The Lee Family Three................

I LOVE MY LIFE.

Pumpkin Patch Morning

It was a beautiful autumn morning this morning and what a perfect day to take Christian to the Pumpkin Patch at Bellinger Farms. The air was crisp so we got all bundled up and went out in search of the perfect pumpkin! I really like the white pumpkins this year and Jason found us one that was JUST RIGHT! It is going to look really cool with a glowing candle inside. What a great day!

Happy Pumpkin Hunting!!!

A Story of Love at Olive Garden.........

Today, Christian and I went to Tri-Cities with Tami and she treated us to a delicious lunch at Olive Garden. This was Christian's first visit to an Olive Garden. He was pretty happy to sit in the high chair and be "head of the table."

Our waitress was Cassandra and she fell instantly in LOVE with Christian. I mean she was seriously giddy over his charming sweet smile and big baby blues. Every time she came by the table she would flirt with him and he loved it! She said that she told her manager that she had a "new boyfriend" and that she did not know his name but she did know that he would be 1 on Halloween. I told her his name was Christian. I think he made her day. I heard her tell the people sitting behind us that Christian was her boyfriend. It was really cute. Here are some pics of Christian with his new girlfriend Cassandra.

I had a talk with Christian about not giving all of mama's love to other pretty ladies. He sat with me and gave me some of his lovin' (probably because I bribed him with a bottle). I like to think that I'm his #1 Lady!

Before we left the waitress made us promise her that we request her table next time we come in so that she can see Christian again. She was really sweet. I know Christian thought so too! PLUS she gave us 4 chocolate mints instead of the normal 2.......the perks of having an adorable kid!

NOTE TO SELF........

Christian Cutie Pie Lee +

Full belly of Garden Medley Veggies+

Biscuit+ Gag Reflex =

HUGE GREEN MESS!!!!

OOOOOOPS!

So from now on Christian only gets to chew on biscuits before he eats his meals.

Hey, you live and you learn, right?? :)

Christian and Solid Food

I have been trying to get Christian used to the texture of more solid foods. I have only done this with those little rice puffs and those Mums rice biscuits. Every time the reaction is always the same. He gags the moment he realizes it is on his tongue. It is pretty cute. However, today we made the most progress so far. I gave him a biscuit and he was rather interested in it. He crunched it against his teeth and actually chomped it! This, of course, was followed by the gag reflex but he quickly realized all was OK and actually ate it. Who knows what will happen tomorrow. :)

Two Silly Willies on a Wednesday

Christian was playing in the living room this morning and the lighting was amazing. Can you believe I don't even have to ask him to say "CHEESE"?I snapped these pics of us singing and playing in the kitchen. Christian thinks mommy is pretty funny!!

We loaded up the stroller this afternoon and walked over to my lovely mother's house. The three of us went on a walk around McNary. It was overcast and the temperature was just right. It was a great day!